Kill the guy in your head, accountability version

I asked my accountability buddy (Aliza, the astrologer) to help me “Kill Larry Everyday”

Who is Larry?

Larry is the guy I have been trying to impress for years, more than a decade.

He HOLDS THE KEYS

He is the gatekeeper.

He says GOOD JOB, -or- YOU SHALL NOT PASS, but only one or the other.

But really, he always says “YOU SHALL NOT PASS.”

Because nothing is good enough for Larry, arty enough, original enough, hip enough, cool enough etc.

Larry has an office.

Larry’s office is the middle school cafeteria.

Larry’s office is up at ART FORUM MAGAZINE.

Larry’s office is made up of likes and followers and press pages and CASH.

Larry gives out TED talks, and fellowships, and INTRODUCES YOU TO THE REALLY AMAZING COOL PEOPLE.

Larry’s office is in my head.

Sometimes LARRY is my age, and sometimes he is much much YOUNGER.

ARGH I HATE LARRY!!

And then I realized how much trying to please LARRY was killing me, and KEEPING ME FROM SEEING ME.

I’m not in LARRY’s business. I’m not on his radar because we don’t even travel in the same world.

In my world, the one I WANT TO LIVE IN, people are impressed by people’s integrity, their honesty, their vulnerability, their humanity, and yes, their efforts. But certainly not their hip factor rating.

So I am asking ALIZA, my accountability partner (you should all have one or many) to make sure I KILL THE LARRY in my head, every day.

EVERY DAY.

Because I want to connect.

I want to look to each side, and be among people striving to be open and honest, and not worried about being cool, or arty or anything.

Just plugging away.

People that believe art will help change their lives. And so are making art. Telling stories and sharing them.

People working on stories, people opening and exploring through art, are all welcome.

Even Larry’s welcome if he’ll behave!

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